


Fractured

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angry Poe Dameron, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Dark Poe Dameron, Despair Event Horizon, M/M, Parting Words Regret, Poe’s Cruel To Rey In Chapter One, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:34:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24593113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: After the events of Exegol, Poe Dameron becomes the very thing he swore to destroy.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Fractured

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was Rey who told Poe what had transpired on Exegol, and what she learned after (including Ben being, in a way, her cousin) and Poe could have sworn he’d been stabbed in the gut. 

He should have been rejoicing, shouldn’t he? At Kylo Ren being gone. But it wasn’t supposed to be that way. And sacrificing himself, for Rey of all people...

”You didn’t know him,” Poe said icily. 

Rey glared at him. “And you did?”

”More than you did,” Poe said. “You were trailing after him, treating Finn like the contents of a trash compactor, and for what? An image? An idea? You knew Ben Solo for a few weeks before you decided you knew him better than he knew himself?”

Rey looked flabbergasted. Then, “You didn’t feel what I felt from him...”

”It was just an idea,” Poe said. “A dream. And considering what an absolutely foul, fickle, self-centered thing you are...I don’t know what Ben would have seen in someone who thinks she’s the center of the universe.”

Now Rey looked stunned. “You...you don’t mean that,” she said. 

Poe almost wanted to apologize. He couldn’t, though. “You think you’re better than everyone. You waltz onto the Falcon thinking you can just act like it’s your ship even though it’s not and never was, and somehow...Ben saw something in someone as arrogant, entitled and generally self-centered as you. And you good as killed him.”

”How can you say that — it wasn’t up to me!” Rey said. 

“I was willing to put up with you treating me like trash, and even the Resistance as a whole. But I’m done. You’re not a hero, Rey. And Ben Solo deserved better than sacrificing himself for you.”

The moment the words left his mouth, he regretted them. Especially that look Rey had. The look of shock, of hurt — almost like her worst fears had been vocalized. 

***

It was long after Rey left (and thank the Force that she left) that Poe stumbled over towards the nearest fresher and found himself vomiting into it. Vomiting into it, until he felt all but wrung dry. 

This couldn’t have happened. It couldn’t have ended this way. The Skywalker line, all but nearly extinct, except for Rey — a Skywalker in the technical sense. A Skywalker thanks to Palpatine’s meddling in the family tree. But Ben...gone. And for what? Leia’s refusal to act against Palpatine, Luke’s arrogance and hypocrisy, Anakin’s apathy, Ben’s refusal to admit he was on the wrong path until the last minute...

And Poe should have been rejoicing that Ben was gone. The man who ripped into his mind, tore it apart. But that man had been his friend once, and Poe had loved him —

He was gone. And they could have avoided it, avoided everything. They could have helped him. They could have tried. 

They didn’t even try. 

Poe had been barely holding on, at least, when he’d seen Ben on Crait. He’d been clinging to whatever he could — but here, it was like the last threads of his faith had snapped. He had thought he could protect others. He hadn’t expected any of this. 

Poe got to his feet just then, wiping his mouth. He was shaking in that moment, but he knew what he had to do. 

_Could you do it? Could you really go against your friends_? 

He thought back to his friends. His real friends. Finn. Zorii. Jess. People like that. Could he go against them?

He wished he knew. But he couldn’t stay here. Not among something that was all but built on lies. 

Staying after Crait had been one time staying too many. Where he would go...well, he’d be damned if he knew. Maybe he’d retrace Ben’s steps, figure out more about what happened to him. Figure out what to do next. 

***

He left Finn a farewell hologram. Apologizing to him for how he treated him. “You are my friend,” Poe said in the hologram. “My best friend. I’m not the man who can rebuild the Republic; I’m not the man I should be. But keep it strong, Finn. Teach them about kindness. Teach them about the values that they should have had...when the Republic was first built.” A beat. “And don’t try to come after me. I have work to do.”

Even watching the hologram, Finn’s heart sank. As if everything else Poe had done recently wasn’t enough, he was running away too. Deserting. Finn still couldn’t believe the man who had rescued him, who had seen the good in him when others hadn’t at first...how could he just run off? And over what, Kylo Ren of all people? Saving Rey was the only decent thing he did; otherwise, he was just a monster. Him being dead was for the best. 

What would Poe see in him? 

Jannah turned to look at Finn. “You okay?” she said. 

Finn sighed. “He wasn’t always like this. He was the first one to be kind to me. Me, when I was just a stormtrooper who didn’t want to kill villagers. Did you know he gave me that name? Finn?”

”No.” Jannah said. Then, “It sounds like a different facet of the man you knew.”

Finn nodded. “I don’t know what’s happened to all of us, Jannah. Last time I checked, we didn’t hate each other. Or run off like cowards to who-knows-where.” He sighed. “It’s like the war just poisoned us...”

Hesitantly, Jannah squeezed his shoulder. 

”Rebellions are built on hope,” she said. “Jyn Erso said that. I think we could learn from her.”

”Yeah.” Finn sighed as he spoke. “I wish she were here.”


End file.
